October 31st 2008

Did you ever just get to the point in your life when you wondered if everything you've done up to this point for your career was wrong? Let me tell you about myself....I'm 36 years old, living on Long Island. After being on my own for about 10 years, I moved back home after my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Since he passed in 2002 I've been living back home with my mom helping her with the house and contributing to the bills like a good son should.

At one point I had serious dreams and goals, but those have seemed to be flushed down in a pit of depression and lack of confidence. Ever since I was a child I've had issues with confidence. Growing up I was (and still am) a overweight kid. Children being the mean motherfuckers that they are at that age, abused me to no end. On top of that, when I went home my brother did the same thing.
I never really got along with my brother that well for most of my life. He came down with diabetes at 8 years old and everything changed. There were constant fights and abuse. My parents did what they could to stop it but it continued even into adulthood. I can remember hours just sitting in my room listening to music and staying away from the conflict that always seemed to come up. Maybe he was jealous because all of my body parts worked. My friends growing up were Alice Cooper and Gene Simmons...not the kid next door.

I fell in love with music when I was 6 years old. Vividly I can remember riding around in my dad's 1969 Volvo with the AM radio on WNBC or WABC playing all the hits of the day. To this day I can hear "Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty or "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and I feel like a 6 year old again riding in the car looking up at my dad while he drove around.
My dad had a collection of records that he put up in one of the closets that I used to always pull out and go through. I still have Miles Davis "Sketches Of Spain" and "Porgy and Bess" along with The Rolling Stones "Aftermath" on vinyl from those days. Those records were my introduction to music. But then...............

On Showtime cable TV one night they ran "The Strange Case of Alice Cooper" which was a concert film from the 1978 "From The Inside" Tour. Instantly I was hooked. Here was a totally original guy. A show along with great songs and he even scared you a little. How perfect was that? Now you have to remember at that time Alice was public enemy number one, the guy your parents hated. This was before rock bands looked like guys who pumped your gas and were actually stars. I asked for Alice's Greatest Hits LP that Christmas and wore the record out.
Discovering Alice got me into other bands like Kiss, Cheap Trick, Ted Nugent, Black Sabbath and Rainbow. To this day I still listen to that music and it makes me feel like a kid again.